It often doesn’t feel like it, but we always have a choice and we never lose that. You may be thinking that you haven’t chosen your circumstances, or the situation you find yourself in or how someone behaves towards you. OK, you may be thinking that there may be situations that you feel you absolutely have no control over, but I want to say that you always do have some level of choice. Whatever the situation, no one can control how you see an experience, how you feel about it, how you respond and deal with it, or how you move through it. That remains in your power and is ultimately your own personal choice. In the latest article from Becoming Aware, we look at this in more detail.
Staying stuck in the situation is a choice in itself
So, if we think about choice, you’ll find that more often than not, that choice is how you allow it to affect you. If you take the attitude that you feel powerless and that you have no control, that will keep you stuck and ultimately that is a choice in itself. By accepting that it is our choice how we feel and respond is the key to really freeing ourselves.
Do you feel that you are a victim?
If you feel that you are a ‘victim’, you may feel that you don’t have a choice, but know that you do. You have the ability to choose your response to any given situation or experience, which can help you to feel empowered rather than victimised. Even if something terrible has happened to you, nobody else can control how you respond to it or how you feel about it or what you do next. Again this realisation and acting on this may set you free.
The person in question won’t see or feel your pain
You can, of course, choose to stay stuck by holding on to what’s happened and hang on to all the emotion surrounding it. In doing so, you are just giving yourself a hard time and blaming the situation or the person. However, all this will do is cost you in terms of time and energy. The chances are, that person or persons won’t see or feel your pain. It may only be affecting you or sometimes the people closest to you so why prolong the agony? Haven’t you suffered enough? It’s also important to understand that others too have a choice and that you sometimes need to accept and respect that, even if it doesn’t match your own opinions, ideas or beliefs.
Exercise your choice and step into your power
You can’t change what has already happened. It’s a fact that you can’t go back and do it differently, but you can change how you feel about it, which is when you are exercising your choice and stepping into your power. That’s where the real magic is because by changing how you feel, you free yourself from the pain, worry, anxiety or overwhelm of what has been or is going on in your life and that opens up opportunities for change. Once things start to change on the inside, you can then move forwards in all areas of your life. Not only will you feel differently, but people will treat you differently and new opportunities may open up for you. You only have one shot at each minute in each day. How much of your time or energy do you want to waste holding on to an experience or situation that you can neither change or do differently as it has already gone? That’s the power of your choice.
Your outer world will change when you feel more in control of your personal power on the inside
There is always a choice to change. Even if you can’t change your external situation, you can always change your inner feelings. By releasing yourself from this, you are taking your power back and disempowering whatever has happened. When you are feeling more in control of your personal power on the inside, that’s when your outer world can change. I’ve seen it happen so many times.
Practices for choosing to change
· Write down how you feel emotionally about what’s happened or is happening. Get it all out on paper, then rip it up, shred it or burn it (safely), while intending to let it go.
· Write a letter to the person or situation you are feeling stuck in. Really let rip as if there are no consequences to anything you have to say. Don’t post it or pass it on, as there’s no value in that. Again, rip it up, shred it or burn it (safely), while intending to let it go.
· Make a conscious choice that what has happened in the past has gone and so you can let go.
· Find an affirmation that works for you, for example:
‘Every moment of my life is full of choices’
‘I always have the freedom to choose’
‘Each day I choose to see things from the most positive perspective’
‘I am choosing to change my present’
Repeat this regularly. The more you hear it, the more you believe it.
· If it’s a present situation, write down and focus on what you can do about it, rather than focussing on what you can’t.
· If it’s been solely in your mind, get it out. Talk to a friend or relative and consciously give yourself permission to move on.
· Do ‘cutting the cord’ meditation. This is an exercise that energetically cuts the emotional attachments between two people or a situation. It can be very powerful. You’ll find lots of meditation techniques on YouTube.
· If nothing else is working or you feel you need support to get through it, seek help from a professional who works in releasing emotions, thoughts, beliefs and attachment to situations. The release is the most important part and it can be so rewarding.
My philosophy and personal thoughts
I believe everything happens for a reason and is exactly as it’s meant to be. Sometimes the worst situations can bring about positive shifts and changes in our lives, even if we can’t see them initially. I know this from personal experience and feel that I wouldn’t be doing what I am today without the experience of great personal pain. Sometimes, finding the positive part rests with our choice of giving ourselves permission to let go of what has happened, rather than allowing it to define us. It was a conscious choice of mine to move on from my experience by embarking on a healing journey of my own. It was the best choice I ever made.
How Becoming Aware can help you
Nobody else can make that choice for us. It’s only you that can choose when you’re ready to free yourself. Maybe now, you feel it’s time to take your power back and accept that in any given situation you always have a choice. I massively admire you just for considering getting to that point. If however you feel that nothing is working for you and you need professional help, please contact me, Karen Hoad from Becoming Aware. I’m a qualified and experienced Mental & Emotional Wellbeing Practitioner and regularly help people to start taking their power back. Call me on 07766 427966 for a free without obligation chat or email karen@becomingaware.co.uk
Nothing can dim the light that shines from within
Maya Angelou
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent
Eleanor Roosevelt
