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Feeling Out Of Control? Focus On What You Can Do!

The reality is that we are not actually in control of anything. We really have little control over what happens to us, but we do have the power to respond to the stuff that occurs and it’s how we deal with any given situation that counts. We also can’t control other people and the actions they take, but we can control how we respond to them and how we feel about the situation. Things can seem fine one moment, but can change in a flash without any prior warning. Often our natural instinct is to resist. However, this can make it a lot harder and the easier option of going with the flow could be better for us both emotionally and physically. You really can’t change what is going to happen. In the latest article from Becoming Aware, we look at questions you should ask yourself and what you can do if you feel out of control.

Questions you should ask yourself to start moving forwards

· What exactly is the issue?

· What limitations does the situation place on you?

· What can’t you do?

· How do you really feel?

It may seem obvious but the first question involves defining what the actual issue or problem is and once this has been established, try not to lose yourself in it. There are some things that you just can’t do anything about at all and dwelling on this will not help you to come to a solution of what you need to do to make a difference.

What to do if you feel out of control

Focus is the keyword here, as focusing on finding the solution rather than being stuck in the problem can be liberating. Once you have established what you can do, you can focus your energy there. Break it down into chunks, as it’s really important to take things one-step at a time and to be realistic about what you can achieve. Try to be objective and acknowledge the situation by bringing yourself back to the present.

· Focus on what you can do and not what you can’t

· Think outside of the box to find a solution

· Step out of your comfort zone to find answers

· Don’t put pressure on yourself to solve the problem immediately

· Look for opportunities to learn and grow

· Acknowledge what could be holding you back

· Write down how you are feeling

· Speak to a friend or a family member

· Be kind and patient with yourself

Remember it’s OK not to be OK, as no one feels great all of the time. You are not the perfect mum, wife, or teacher – these people do not exist. When you feel you can do something, it can fire you up and get things moving.


You can’t change the situation but by changing how you feel about it, will change your experience. Whatever your experience is, it’s exactly as it’s meant to be. Trust the journey of what’s going on and go with it. The more you resist, the harder it will be. This is a very short space of time in the grand scheme of your life and whatever you are going through, it’s important to realise that you will get through it. You are stronger than you think and maybe the realisation of this will be something you can take away from all of this when it’s over. You are never sent anything you can’t cope with and sometimes you just need to get out of your own way because the outcome may be better if you do.

How Becoming Aware can help

Karen Hoad from Becoming Aware is a qualified and experienced Emotional Healing & Wellbeing Practitioner. She has vast experience in mental, emotional and physical health issues and works with people to release emotions. Call Karen on 07766 427966 for a free without obligation chat or email

“Try to imagine that you are looking back on this time of feeling out of control - whatever you wished you had done, go and do it!”

Karen Hoad

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