As Valentine’s Day approaches, the topic of self-love seems really appropriate. It is so important to love yourself in order to be able to love someone else. And in doing so, it should not be viewed as conceited or arrogant or even narcissistic. Self-love is accepting yourself as who you are and seeing your worth. It’s so, so true that love starts from within. It’s also important to realise that nobody lives in a perpetual state of love; it’s just not possible. In my latest article, Becoming Aware considers the definition of self-love, how we can practice it and the benefits of self-love.
What is self-love?
It is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own wellbeing and happiness and taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your wellbeing to please others. It also means not settling for less than you deserve.
Self-love means that you have an appreciation, affinity, and positive regard for yourself. It’s closely related to self-esteem and self-compassion. When you have a strong sense of self-love, you understand your own value and treat yourself in a loving way.
How to practice self-love
First of all, you must listen to your body and consider how you are feeling. Accept your emotions, putting your mental, physical and emotional wellbeing first.
· Take breaks when working and stretching and moving
· Eat healthily – although sometimes you can be indulgent
· Exercise regularly and participate in healthy activities
· Practice meditation
· Say ‘no’ from time to time
· Surround yourself with caring and nurturing people
· Learn to forgive yourself – beating yourself up can only be a negative
· Accept you are good enough the way you are
Benefits of self-love
· Lower stress levels
· More equipped to tackle challenges and solve problems
· Challenges are viewed as temporary setbacks or even opportunities
· More resilience
· Willingness to take risks – we are confident in our abilities
· Empathy and compassion for others
· Achieve goals through trust in our abilities
· Able to set boundaries - make decisions on what you will and will not put up with
Self-love is empowering and liberating
Often, based on what society tells us, we believe love comes from someone or somewhere outside of ourselves and we focus on the other in order to feel loved. We can feel that if we are not in a relationship, we may not be lovable. When we recognise the importance of loving ourselves, being in a relationship with another then becomes a bonus and not a necessity. This can be massively liberating. Once you are able to treat yourself, with the love, kindness, and compassion that you would another, then that is often when a true loving partner will appear. Self-love is the most empowering kind of love that there is.
How can Becoming Aware help you to practice self-love?
Consider how you are with someone you really care about. Hopefully, you are normally kind, patient, compassionate and gentle. It’s essential that you do not compare yourself to others, as there is nobody the same as you. You are not perfect and are therefore able to make mistakes, it’s really OK. Love yourself on the inside, not the outside. Self-love provides a solid foundation that you can always come back to. Becoming Aware has been helping people to love themselves which entails being proud and owning who you are. You could say, we help you to be calm in the chaos. If you are struggling, please call me, Karen on 07766 427966 for a free without obligation chat or email karen@becomingaware.co.uk
Sarah-Len Mutiwasekwa says that most of us are trying to conquer external battles such as finding love, finding success, or finding happiness, but we do not understand that self-love is the root from which everything grows.