You don’t have to feel lonely if you are alone. In fact it can be rewarding; it just depends how you deal with it. Loneliness can affect people of all ages from teenagers through to elderly people. However, you might find it surprising that many people who appear to have lots of friends and are continually surrounded by people are in fact lonely and conversely, people who are on their own don’t always feel lonely and actually quite enjoy it. There are certain times of the year and special days when feelings of loneliness can be heightened including Christmas, Bank holidays, and days such as Valentines. Also, the winter months can be difficult times for many people, which prompted me to write this in February. It’s a time when there is less light and we are more restricted to indoors. At the outset, I must emphasise that if you are feeling lonely, it should be recognised as a sign that something needs to change.
Enrolling onto an Interior design course helped me cope
In the latest article from Becoming Aware, I look at what loneliness is and give you my top tips for dealing with it and overcoming it. I write from the heart, as the topic is particularly poignant to me having moved down to Sussex just over 22 years ago, barely knowing a soul. I busied myself initially with personal development courses and then after ten months, I embarked on an Interior Design course. It was something that I was really interested in and I wanted to learn more. It not only gave me something to do, but also allowed me to meet new people and make friends.
What is loneliness?
Loneliness is a subjective feeling about the gap between a person’s desired levels of social contact and their actual level of social contact. It refers to the perceived quality of the person’s relationships. Loneliness is never desired and lessening these feelings can take a long time.
Loneliness is a universal human emotion that is both complex and unique to each individual.
Top tips for overcoming loneliness
1. Make new connections
2. Find a hobby or take up a sport
3. Volunteer for a cause you are passionate about
4. Change your mindset
5. Sign up for business networking online or attend events
6. Talk to someone you trust
Make new connections and take up a hobby
The best piece of advice is to take things slowly. If you are making new connections, there are lots of things you can do by joining a class or a group. It could be pursuing a hobby or interest such as knitting, photography or visiting places, or you might want to learn a sport such as tennis or join your local gym and go to activities such as aqua aerobics or Pilates. Volunteering is also a great way to meet people and it can be really rewarding on a personal level if you are helping towards something you really care about.
Change your mindset and dismiss negative thoughts
Changing your mindset is all about communicating with yourself. Quite simply, ask yourself, “What do I want to do today?” or “What would I enjoy doing?” Decide on this and then see it as a positive and exciting thing to do. Dismiss negative thoughts of, “Oh no, I’m on my own again!” There will always be something to do even if it’s a chore around your home. Or why not pick up the phone to speak to a friend or relative? Country walks or a stroll along the seafront will work wonders! You will start to appreciate the value of being on your own and you will begin to take your power back.
You don’t need to spend a fortune
Things that you do don’t have to be expensive. If you are keen on reading, why not join the library? For older people, Age Concern is very active in the community and for younger people, why not go swimming or join a youth organisation?
How can Becoming Aware help you?
As I have explained, I do know what it’s like to be lonely. And key for me was changing my mindset. So if you are feeling lonely and don’t know how you can change your feelings, please do get in touch. As a Mental & Emotional Wellbeing Specialist, I can help you to cope with loneliness and help you see it as a positive. Call me on 07766 427966 for a free without obligation chat or email karen@becomingaware.co.uk
